The Melka

  The engagement gives a couple the chance to ‘get to know’ each other, when they decide that they are happy together and are ready to marry, a date will be set for their Melka.
  The melka is performed by a Sheik or religious man, like a priest. Arriving at the home of the bride, the Sheik will meet and visit with a group of the male members of both families who serve as witnesses to the union. Sometimes the Sheik will give a ‘talk’ to the groom about marriage, its responsibilities and how he as a husband us expected to treat his wife.
  The Sheik will then place the hand of the groom into the hand of the father of the bride, or the legal guardian if the father is deceased, a white cloth is placed over the hands while the Sheik will place his hand over the cloth on the two hands. I’m still not sure of what significance the white cloth has, some Sheik’s do not use the cloth.
  The Sheik will say to the groom, I join you in marriage to (brides name) the daughter of (father of the bride). And he congratulates the two men. That’s it!!
  The Melka registration book is signed by both men and taken to the bride in the ladies area and she signs as well. Sometimes the Sheik himself, will take the book to the bride and she will (from behind her abaya and veil) say that she is joining into the marriage on her own free will.
  So they are now married in the eyes of Islam and the community.
  After the melka is performed there is usually a party, the size of this has been determined by both families. It could be a small dinner with only the immediate families present or could be a huge party that resembles an actual wedding party.

  When the melka is only a dinner party there might also be a date set for a larger party so that all families can share in the festivities and happiness of the couple. This is, after all, the actual marriage!

  Because the couple are officially married it is now possible for them to be alone together, AGAIN this depends on what her family decides. The husband could insist on ‘taking’ his new bride at any time now but to stay on the good side of his in-laws he will abide by their ‘rules’.
  It has happened that some couples will consummate their marriage without the knowledge of the families and in one case the wife became pregnant. BUT the husband decided that he wasn’t happy with his wife for some reason and told everyone that the child was not his. He divorced her and refused responsibility for the child, lucky for her, the bride’s family believed her story and the baby carries her family’s name.
  Because of this situation a bride might not be allowed to be alone with her husband, her sister, mother or another female will accompany them at all times. Better to be safe than sorry.....
  The actual consummation night of the couple is called the “Dughla” (dugh-la) and means the bride and groom’s entrance into a closed room. It can also mean ‘entrance’ which is very appropriate for the occasion!
  The couple will begin setting up a home in ready for their marriage and a date is set for the wedding party. The groom might set up the home with the help of his mother or sister, sometimes, if the bride’s family will agree, the bride can help as well.
  An older custom was that a day or two before the wedding, the bride’s mother would arrive at the new home and put the brides clothing into the closets and dressers of the couples bedroom. I’m pretty sure that now, most brides will do this themselves once she arrives to her new home. The girls and women of today are more ready for marriage than their mothers were!!!

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The Melka gift:

 The groom will present his bride with a group of gifts that is given either the night before or during the Melka. The gifts include, the prescribed dowry payment of 14 silver riyals and the dowry agreed upon by the two families. To enhance the gifts, perfume and incense are added, each of the gifts are placed in containers of some sort and combined into a presentation container.
  This container might be a decorative tray with matching vanity set or on a trolley cart, very decorative again having matching containers for a vanity. Some Melka gifts will contain a make-up kit filled with the latest product for the bride to use for the occasion.

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